In memory of Eileen Lupton
Villanova University School of Nursing 2003
Eulogy for Eileen Lupton
7.4.2003 Brandon Stahl
Take a Number
Just four days ago, Eileen Lupton, 22, was standing on a porch at a party in Chicago. No one was doing anything wrong. But moments later, she and several others plummeted three stories and into a stairwell leading to the building's basement.The church was huge. It could easily sit 1,500. Maybe 2,000. Today, though, it wasn't nearly big enough. People waited an hour, at least, to get inside, standing in the sweltering Chicago heat. Once in, there was nowhere to sit. People were squeezing on the sides of the church, sitting behind the altar, filling up the choir box. It felt like people were hanging from the ceiling beams.
But no one wanted to be here. Young people aren't supposed to die like this.
Just four days ago, Eileen Lupton, 22, was standing on a porch at a party in Chicago. No one was doing anything wrong. But moments later, she and several others plummeted three stories and into a stairwell leading to the building's basement. People flooded the scene trying to help. They heard screams of agony. Twelve had died.Eileen was one of the first victims identified.
I didn't know Eileen. I've never met her, but I did know her father. We worked together for two years. He is, and I say this in the nicest way: wonderfully ordinary. He was kind, but there was nothing falsely modest about him. He listened when you wanted to complain. He wasn't flashy or boastful. He was just genuine. He was honest. Even before the porch disaster he had a rough past year: twice laid off, but he never stopped to feel self pity. He was the kind of person you meet and think there aren't enough of. Eileen's father was the kind of guy you'd want as a father.
The church that day was rocked with agony, but he was courageous. He never stopped to cry. You had to look hard to see his grief. He acted like a good host: Thousands of people were there from all over the country for his daughter, and he must have hugged every one of them. He wanted them to know how proud he was of Eileen, he didn't want them to wallow in her death, but rejoice in what she gave during her short life. With his wife and their daughter and son at his side, they were
the strength we all needed to get through the funeral.
Eileen had just graduated from Villanova's nursing school. The priest read from her admissions essay: "God gave me two arms. One to help myself, and one to help others." When she graduated, she came back to Chicago to work with sick and dying children. She was the kind of person you meet and think thank god she's on our side.
The porch disaster isn't a week old, and already the lawsuits have started. The city beat everyone to it, suing the landlord for various violations, making his life more miserable. I'm sure the family's
civil lawsuits will start soon, anger and despair will find its way to a courtroom, trying to find a way to reach a solace, to assign blame. And though I wouldn't blame them for joining in, I just can't see the
Luptons being a part of it.Pat began his eulogy at the funeral by thanking everyone for being there. He never once hinted at anger or sorrow. "I'm just glad we got to spend 22 wonderful years with her," he said. The congregation burst into uncontrollable tears. His voice shook as he talked about how much their daughter touched their lives, how good she was and how much she accomplished and how proud they were of her. I was sitting there, helpless, trying so hard to hold so many tears back. "And Eileen got it all from her mother," he joked, shaking us from what we were going through.
No one deserves what this family has gone through, but it seems like they somehow deserve it even less. We watch things like this and think it's so unfair that misery like this exists for people that are so
genuinely good. During the priest's eulogy, he recounted that terrible Sunday afternoon he sat crying with Eileen's mother in her living room. "Eileen, two weeks ago, you sent me a letter saying that your
family was so blessed," he said. "She looked up at me and said, 'you know what? We're still blessed.'"
http://www.villanovan.com/news/2003/08/29/News/Late-Alumna .Leaves.legacy.Of.Excellence -454392.shtml
http://www.eileenlupton.com