- happiness is a full tank of gas

- I love getting my blood pressure taken at the doctors office. You'd think they'd never seen a resting heart rate below 50 BPM before.

- I hate websites that automatically resize my browser.

- remember when you were little and you weren't supposed to stand close to the microwave in fear of radiation. Was that ever actually true?

- Public service announcement #2: if you are ever sending email to large groups of people, use BCC. This helps prevent compromising everyone's emails, and even more importantly, guards against the dreaded 'reply-all' snowball effect.
 

- always get in the second car of the T. It's usually less crowded because everyone naturally goes for the front.

- free heat is a coup! my apartment is practically tropical. At least old buildings have one thing going for them.

- scarves are no longer a cute accessory, but a necessity.

- double spacing is for high school, yet for some reason, we use it for occasional case write ups. Don't blame us when you get a 43 page paper.

- poor TiVo and Netflix are severely neglected. Good thing I'll have stuff to watch to tie me over during this never-ending writer's strike.

- I don't miss my car. Mostly because street parking here is a full contact sport. And what the hell is up with the street cleaning every 10 min??

- BC is gonna be awesome.. in 10 years.

- I've managed to miss the lean sporting years in Boston.

- is there anything left in the universe for the BC bookstore to put an eagle on?? Baby mobiles, bird houses, dog bones.. seriously?!?

- I don't care what you say.. I will always miss having a meal plan.
 

- sunglasses inside are never, ever acceptable.

- if some dude sang to me that I had the "Lips of an Angel", I would probably piss myself laughing, right before I dump him for being so lame.

- why do the majority of bikes for little girls have white tires on them? It always bothered me how dirty they got.

- The problem with any kind of those shirts with the witty sayings on them, is that as result of everyone trying to come up with something clever, you get a bunch of really bad ones.

- Contrary to anything created in Hollywood, the CIA is NOT located in Washington, DC.

- Stop asking me about the iPhone. It's well known I hate Apple. Not to mention Bell South (which is now AT&T). I don't want one!

- If you Google 'Google', will it implode?

- pet peeve: you know those oval country code stickers? They are supposed to go on your bumper, not on your window.

- Asian cuisine. Chinese, Japanese, and Thai are all foods from different countries. Never trust a resturant that serves all three. You wouldn't go to a place that serves Philly cheesesteaks, BBQ and lobster, would you?

- who the hell smokes a cigar at the Tour de Georgia? gag.
 

- What are crop circles for, other than for alien stuff?

- Last minute in basketball. It's over. Stop fouling. Has anyone ever actually won that way?

- bounced check fees are usually $25+. Doesn't the bank already know that you don't have any money, let alone another 25 bucks?

- video games with guns. Put your money where your mouth is. If you think it's fun to shoot up people and blow stuff up, join the damn Army.
 

- speaking of sports and drafts, how is it that everyone automatically assumes that Greg Oden and Kevin Durant are going to declare for the draft this year?

- I have this problem with my phone and PDA. I forget them all the time. And inevitably, that's always when the calls and messages come. Also have trouble with the silent mode and remembering to turn them back on. Oops.

- explain this: baking soda. food ingredient, cleaning supply?

- recently at a few races I've seen these visors (forget the brand) that have printed all over the back part of the visor "Moisture Technology" and try to look all fancy. Wouldn't it just be easier to call it a sweatband?
 

- cars in Georgia = flashy. cars in Colorado = functional.

- so all the time you see athletes giving props to God for winning. Do they ever blame God for losing?

- pay attention, men. Long hair and or beard does not make you look any less fat or gross looking. keep it clean, seriously.

- why did the Howells on Gilligan's Island have so much money for a three hour tour?
 

- the fat guy on LOST. shouldn't he be skinny by now, having been marooned on an deserted island for what, three years?

- the superbowl commercials for the most part were a bust this year. but the most interesting thing i discovered is in the FedEx commercial - where they are on the moon.. weightless.

- in the spirit of mardi gras - don't you think that the baby in the King Cake is a choking hazard? think of all the frivolous lawsuits that we already have, this one is just a multi-million dollar settlement waiting to happen.
 

- assorted flavors. sometimes, i don't want them, like with starburst, skittles, jolly ranchers, etc. i mean lemon, wtf? i only eat the red and pink starbursts. also falling into this category is capt'n crunch. why don't they make an all crunchberries cereal? at madeira, i would split up the crunchberries from the regular crunches and my friend ate the regular ones. it was truly a great friendship.

- siblings. ever notice that if some guy is pretty hot, the rest of the family is pretty average? i mean, take brad pitt, for example. his brother? wouldn't make a head turn. i've also concluded that usually a good looking brother does not ensure a good looking sister. just a random observation.

- County General ER. (as in the tv show). considering how many times things have exploded, been held up, helicopter crashes, etc.. i would risk going to another local hospital that is located further away. unless they brought carter back, that is.

- saddam's execution. it seemed as though it came up on us as a surprise. no appeals process, not all that much coverage coming up to it and all. not only did it appear that the whole thing was very poorly planned, but nobody thought to benefit from it - as in pay-per-view. can you imagine the millions who would pay watch it? (not to mention the proceeds could go to the rebuilding process, since it would seem that it's not going all that well..)

- the mini cooper. i like the car, but not the size - it would be a little too much of a downsize. they need to come out with just the cooper.

- offensive mascots. in light of all the PC related sports teams.. how is it that someone thought that the carolina hurricanes would be a good team name? i mean if you relocated the team to new orleans, people would pitch a fit. and it's not like the carolinas don't get hurricanes. not to mention university of miami, but considering they're a bunch of rioting thugs i feel no need to waste time discussing them.
 

- northface backpacks. i had one in high school, and liked it a lot. but these new packs that they're rolling off the line for students is absolutely ridiculous. who's gonna need titanium clips and 400 straps and nets and compartments and cross bars just to stick your books and a couple pens in? it might be adequate if, say, you were scaling everest. but for going to and from the library? it seems a bit excessive.

- justin timberlake called out the american idol guy for not being able to sing a note. pot calling kettle, anyone?

- only an emory alum would be so presumptuous enough to assert that emory is an "ivy league school". remember, you didn't get in.
 

- yes, i have tivo. no, i will not be your personal tv show supplier. learn to program your VCR!

- peanut butter m&m's are highly underappreciated.

- would you rather have john mayer talent but make the weird faces he makes while singing, or look like jessica simpson but be considered to have no actual talent?
 

- i hate it when pro athletes will point up to the sky after scoring or doing something good and giving props to god. because you know that god had nothing better to do than to make sure you hit a double or caught a touchdown. god doesn't need to worry about starving children and dying people, god wants to make sure you make the all star team.

- how is it that every single time i fly, i am always arrive at the exact same gate, which happens to be at the verrryy end of the terminal?

- there's just something wrong about people putting up their wedding pictures in their facebook profile.
 

- america's two most popular spaghetti sauces: ragu and prego - make absolutely no sense. the word "prego" in italian, roughly means "you're welcome", while "ragu" means meat sauce - the brand ragu is overwhelmingly regular tomato sauce, no meat.

- why do people with fair skin insist on tanning (and by tanning turning into a lobster every single time they lay out)? the burn hurts, is noticeably uneven and usually doesn't do much for color after the fact.

- i always find it rude for people to ask other people about their ethnicity. most people i know are americans, and don't see themselves as anything different. singling someone out is unnecessary - they likely grew up in a neighborhood and played little league just like you.
 

- can race car drivers drive normal cars? i mean, they are accustomed to going 150+ mph, so going 25mph through a neighborhood must be especially difficult considering they drive fast for a living. though i would pay to see any nascar dude driving a minivan down the neighborhood.

- while it is evident that i watch too many spy/gov't agency tv shows and movies, and i realize hollywood doesn't play by life's general rules of death and injury.. i've always wondered how it's possible that the bad guy can always elude the cops and escape by killing multiple officers on their way out while not getting one scratch. aren't these officers sent to training for months and months to learn how to handle their weapons and general federal agent duties?
 

- why is mother nature so cruel in placing hair on every part of a guy's body except for his head (balding, that is)?

- jack bauer's cell phone: why doesn't he have it on silent/vibrate, and how does he possibly have a battery that lasts that long? my phone dies after two conversations and a few texts, let alone calls from the government and uploading classified information.

- how is it that I will write down a random dpism that comes to mind, yet I always manage to be unable to locate it at the time of writing them?
 

- I hate it when sports anchors on ESPN (or whatever channel) have that fake football field in the studio to demonstrate what the team is doing by all the anchors going out and pretending their playing. First of all, you look like a has-been who is trying so hard not to let go of the game (ahem Michael Irvin, Steve Young, etc). Secondly, it doesn't really clear it up any better than showing the players on a screen and using the pen for tv. Thirdly, you're wearing slacks and a tie. Playing football. You look like a complete idiot.

- in the spirit of spring/summer weather - spaghetti strap tanks and a sports bra are not proper workout attire. Generally speaking, a girl going out in public shouldn't have her bra strap showing EVER, going to the gym does not preclude this, but more importantly, the tank top needs to match your sports bra in coverage. Pet peeve. The gym ain't a fashion show but you don't need to look like trash, either.

- if you are not from a certain university/city of pro sports team, you are not allowed to refer to them as "we". you may root for whomever you choose, but the use of "we" is reserved for the people who actually attended the school.

- we may have lost that game, but Joakim Noah will be ugly forever. Go 'Nova.
 

- stop lights. they suck. but the light isn't gonna change if you stop your car beyond that big fat white line. don't people realize the traffic light sensors are there, and therefore, if you go past that, not only are you in the middle of the intersection and interfering with everyone else, but also you aren't helping make the light change back to green for your side. dummys.

- chicks before dicks. i hate it when girls get new bfs and totally desert their girls. not that this logic has been prompted by anyone specifically, but generally speaking, it's unfortunate.

- while wandering the toy section (i was killing time - having my tires changed next door), i saw some kids action figures of freddy kreuger and whatnot. do kids even know who he is? i mean it's a stretch even for me, i've never even seen the movie, so one might imagine that this generation has no clue either.
 

- i would assume that most people who know me know where i work (that will go nameless). however, what people don't realize is that when people tell me my employer is communist or they were watching fox news that day, that it isn't really that funny after the 17th time. yes, i understand joking around is fine, but it's gotten to the point were it's just old and unfunny. so please, stop with the commentary and learn something new to talk to me about. i've heard it before, trust me.

- i love tshirts. it's gotten to the point where i think i'm addicted.. seeing that i have 4 drawers of short sleeves alone. but hey, as far as addictions go, i suppose we can all be happy that it's not crack.

- post-college fatness. it happens, to a lot of people. 15 hours of class a week vs. 40+ work hours is sort of a freetime killer. however, i've never really understood how so many people just decide to run a marathon to get in shape. i mean a goal is one thing. a marathon is a bit much to bite off.. hell, i was a collegiate athlete and you'd have to compensate me a LOT to get me to run a marathon. the point of this is, if you're really having exercise issues, why not start off with a 5k or 10k?

- rant of the month: boys hitting on you.
there are a number of things that mystify me about the opposite sex.

1. first off, do they guys who are working construction or hanging on a street corner in the middle of a day reeeally expect me to be impressed by their catcalls? not to be an entire snob, but seeeeriously.. they think they even have a chance?

2. speaking of catcalls and other klassy techniques used by such males.. is it really that hard to start a conversation with a chick? i understand it's ballsy and whatnot, but what part of shouting "NICE ASS" from across the street is gonna make me want to go out on a date with you?
while it might be entirely true that the state of my ass deserves be shouted from the rooftops, it's really not a good way to approach a girl with if you're trying to score a date.
yeah, yeah.. some of you guys might be like "well you want us to approach and then criticize when we do" type mentality - it's really not that hard. start a nice conversation and we just might be receptive. no pinching butts or "psssst'ing" to me from afar. lame.
 

- grammar. granted i'm probably the last person to scold anyone in this subject (grammar competency anyone?), but i have two pet peeves. 1) the use of there, their and they're. there is an adverb meaning "that location." their is a possessive pronoun. It always describes a noun. they're is a contraction of they are. it's reeeally not that difficult.
which brings me to #2, which drives me nuts even more. the use of "I" and "me" - for example: "this is a picture of joe and I in front of the bridge." NO. joe and me. when in doubt, take the friend out of the sentence - "this is a picture of me in front of the bridge" makes a hell of a lot more sense than "this is a picture of I in front of the bridge". seriously, it's not hard, and i'm probably the worst grammar person alive. seriously. or just stop talking, period.

- i hate black shoes. not dressy ones, but like clunky sneaker like ones. they're just fugly.

- you know those lexus "december to remember event" tv commercials where the husband/wife buys their spouse a brand new car with a big red bow on it?
while it's great to get a new car and surprises and whatnot, but what bothers me is.. doesn't the spouse realize that this brand new car was paid for with their own bank account? i mean, hey new car, yay.. oh wait, honey, thanks for spending $50K without consulting me first! this is the best christmas EVER!! and yes, i suppose you can argue that the couple has more than enough money to just up and buy a lexus.. but seriously, if you're rolling in it, you best be riding in a bentley.

- UGA fans. well, not them specifically, but i will use them in this example because there are so many of them. it appears that 95% of the population of georgia is a UGA fan. but the thing is, i'm guessing that easily less than half of them actually went to georgia. (i won't touch on graduating.) but there are so many rabid UGA fans here, you would think that every single one had the best darn four years of their life in athens.
so i'm confused why these people don't feel a sense of false fan-ship (or whatever you would call it.) you give off the impression to everyone that you had the chops to get into the school, when in fact you probably got flat out rejected. yet you have the shirts, hats, tattoos (yes, it's true - tat's), bumper stickers, etc all over your life. i can understand rooting for a team casually (like i do for UVA, since my entire family went there), but in no way would i start fights and go nuts over a school i never went to. hell, if UVA were playing villanova, there would be a holy war in the house (and 'nova would win, cause god's on our side, obviously.)
okay, so to sum up. if you are a diehard UGA fan (for this example), but didn't actually go there, you are a loser.
 

- i reeeeally hate it when people put the cd visors in their car on the WRONG side. i mean is it that difficult to figure out that direct sunlight onto your cds is not good for them? apparently so.

- the more clothes i have in my closet, the less it seems i have to wear.

- backpacks on tv never look normal.. either actors don't know how to carry one, or they're too stiff and brand new.
 

- there's a company that makes car hitches so you can tow shit. it's called "hidden hitch". however, i can't say that i have all that much faith in the company that i only know exists because i could see the giant hidden hitch from behind while my car while on the highway.

- rule about sunglasses and bathing suits: if it looks good, buy it. no matter the price tag. it's worth it.

- the ever popular slogan "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas" is NOT universal. inserting whatever city you go to in is lame and does not excuse whatever stupid thing you did.

- etiquette during any sporting event: if you (or your party) are not on the aisle, do not get out of your chair more than once, definitely not more than twice. it's rude and annoying for everyone who lets you pass during the middle of the game.
 

- what happened to stirrups in baseball? and for the record i LOVE it when the boys wear the tall socks (not pants all the way down to their cleats). chipper used to do it, but now is thoroughly disappointing. sigh.

- clean bathrooms make all the difference.

- why is there so much controversy over the NBA's new CBA that includes a 19 year old age limit (or 1 year of college), while baseball regularly drafts high school prospects?

- do you remember when you were in like middle school and it was soooo uncool for guys to drink mountain dew because it lowers sperm count? since when the hell should a middle school boy be concerned about his sperm count? wait, when should 99% of grown men be concerned about their sperm count? (leaving that 1% for the ones who actually are settling down)
 

- the ol' fist in your mouth trick. guys get all excited when they discover that a girl has a big enough mouth to stick her fist in it. unfortunately, guys seem to forget that there is no way that the girl needs all that much room for him. hey, i may be a pessimist, but i'm also realistic. sorry guys, you wish.

- what exactly IS a geography major? prince william (YUM) just graduated from college as a geo major, making him the most educated royal in history. so in order to be such a distinguished geography major, does one just memorize the world map and figure out where all the countries go? i could do that in four days, let alone four years.

- you know that geico commercial that is the spoof on a reality show where a newly wed couple has to live in a tiny house for a year? ("this is kinda awesome." "this is NOT awesome!") i think want to see it for real. it's gotta be better than some of the reality crap that's on now.
 

So after watching Mona Lisa Smile, I've discovered I have a pretty firm view on women's rights and marriage. To cut to the chase, I have a problem with women who marry men with no intentions of anything other than being a housewife. Even in the rare case that the girl chooses not to go to law school, to work, etc.. (the instance of Julia Stiles' character), you will be hard pressed to find a well educated and motivated female in today's society who chooses the same fate (compared to the number of freeloading females out there). My problem with these chicks is that they have no intention of being independent or self sufficient.

The fact that Wellesley was so conservative even 50 years ago is quite alarming, as it is one of the top universities in the nation.. so one would think that intellectual women wouldn't be so pressured into marriage for security more so than love or desire. Nowadays at Wellesley you will meet some of the most independent and brilliant (and very liberal) girls around.. (Madeira's headmistress, a little lady named Hilary Clinton - politics aside, I have a great deal of respect for her, among others. Shoutout to Andrea too, Class of '03).

So why does this issue press my buttons? Because there is such a stigma against women who are single, educated and goal oriented. Just because someone doesn't have a boyfriend, doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. Speaking for myself, I'm not dating anyone because there really isn't any guy out there that I know currently who is worth my time. Plain and simple. I don't have the patience to hang with someone I have lukewarm feelings for. I tire of people quite easily.

While I know I will never compromise my education or goals for a "stability" marriage, it's still a problem for all of us because the mindless lemming girls are still doing it because they can't earn a buck for themselves (or are too lazy to.) It just feeds into this stereotype and stigma, which hinders the girls who actually want to do something meaningful with their lives. Do I want to get married? Of course, but it's not gonna be for money or security. Not to say that I wouldn't mind being overly financially stable, but I'll be making my mark on the world one way or another, whether it's rising through the ranks of the workforce or being the next Mother Theresa. If a guy can't handle this, then go find one of these pathetic waifs like in the movie.

Bleeding heart? No. Actually I'm rather conservative, except when it comes to a few social issues.
Feminist? Yes, before it became a "bad" word. I am a feminist in the respect that I believe that the fact that women earn 75c to every man's dollar is simply unacceptable, among other things. A feminist is just someone who believes in the social, political, and economic equality between men and women. Sounds pretty reasonable, huh?

Maybe I need to move..

- body hair. why is it that women, who have significantly less body hair than men, are the ones who shave, wax and pluck? also, on that note, if you are a man and growing hair in unnatural/gross places (IE your back, ass, etc) you really need to be waxing that stuff. seeeriously. there is nothing unmanly about a guy getting his unibrow waxed. welcome to the world post caveman-dom.

- latest pet peeve: people who expect things but do absolutely nothing to earn them.

- ever feel like people are trying to compete with you about stupid crap and you really just don't care?
 

Nikipink99: Dear DPNATION,

Nikipink99: I would like to rant about women at the gym who wear their hair down.
Nikipink99: specifically while on the treadmill or other cardio-enhancing machine
Nikipink99: This is not the salon.
Nikipink99: This is not tryouts for Baywatch.
Nikipink99: You are not rapunzel.
Nikipink99: There is no NEED for one's hair to be down while running at the gym b/c its just gonna get sweaty and dredded by the end of your run even though you think you're impressing all the nasty middle aged men watching your hair bounce in sync with your fake tits.
Nikipink99: I'm over it - buy a damn rubberband and get back to me.
Nikipink99: Sincerely,
Nikipink99: rockin the updo in Cali

- if you leave an away message proclaiming that you are "sleeping" in some variation, for the love of god make sure that you change it before going to work or class. either that or just don't be online during the day. why? because it's annoying while checking away messages..

- if you choose to highlight/dye your hair, you should be forced to sign a contract promising that you will maintain the necessary upkeep (every 6 weeks or so tends to be standard - and hey i don't even highlight and i know this). if you choose not to re-dye/highlight your hair, you MUST color it back to your natural color. DO NOT just let it grow out so that you have highlights halfway down your head. that, and maybe buy a mirror.

- why i love being a chick: when you go to home depot in your polo and capris and i'mbetterthanyousunglasses and watch the home depot sales guys fight over who wants to help you first. (current record: four men at once). sometimes, it's hard to tell which ones work there and which ones are just trying to come help a girl in the tool store.
(also, for the record, this girl owns a drill, full set of bits, full set of allen wrenches, stud finder (teehee), level, complete tool set, and various anchors and other handy things - i won't even get into my electronics).
 

- expiration dates on bottled water. water goes bad?

- calling your significant other pet names on away messages. unless it's clearly a joke, it's really gay.

- speaking of which, one person's being in a relationship does not entitle them to any sort of greatness or betterment than someone who is single. so talking down to someone just means you're a clueless ass.

- will there ever be an end to reality shows?

- it's not nice to call people old, period, and especially if they aren't considering where they are in life.

- earning nice things and rewards are so much better than them being handed to you.
 

- speaking of traffic, only in Atlanta can you possibly get stuck in a dead stop traffic jam at midnite.

- the VU bug. having a spoiler on it does not make it any less girly. please advise the two males in ATL driving them.

- pet peeve: when you're sitting at the movies and as the previews are running, there's dead silence and you can hear everyone chewing/munching on popcorn. i don't know why, but it's so gross.

- celebrities have the most extravagant homes ever (usually multiple ones too). but it makes no sense as they're never home to enjoy them, as every single person on MTV's cribs admits. and yes, life is not fair.
 

- is there a reason why people don't sign their credit cards? you'd be surprised how many you see (working at jcrew and all). you might as well write your pin number on your bank card.

- why is personal growth so painful?

- it's really annoying when people find out that my birfday is so close to xmas (6 days after, to be exact). the typical response i get is "Damn, that must suck!" well you know, even if i thought it sucks (my bday is freakin new years eve.. can you ask for a better party day? i think not.) it's not like a can do a damn thing about it! so, in the future, let's try not to criticize people for things they can't change, like birthdays. everything else about me is fair game. fools.

- speaking of which, you know what else is annoying? when someone tells you that you're old. it's one thing if you are talking to someone who is 30 and in their 6th year of college. i graduated from college TWO years ago. i just turned 24. that's not old. that's normal. plus, i'm that much closer to getting a much better rate on my car insurance than you ever dreamt of.
 

- i heard that electric blankets can make you infertile or something. if that's the case, i guess it's a good thing that i never really wanted children.

- say that a president actually has a PhD or a medical degree or something that gives him/her the title "Dr." so would it be proper to address that president as "Dr. President" instead of Mr.?

- people magazine's 50 most beautiful people comes out on a yearly basis. so if you were selected last year, does that mean you're ugly this year?

- speaking of beautiful people.. have you ever noticed the disproportionate number of hot quarterbacks in the NFL? probably not, considering i'm like 1 of 9 chicks who actually watch football. for example: tom brady, chad pennington, the manning boys, ben rothless-aksuriauet (a little help?), david carr, jake delhomme, brett favre.. the list goes on but that's off the top of my head. maybe i should start paying attention to the actual game.
 

- speaking of which, ever rip the "do not remove under penalty of law" tag off the mattress and get really scared?

- i hereby am boycotting men's beach volleyball until a uniform equivalent to the women's garb is enacted.

- rule for hawaiian shirts: garments cannot have more personality than you do.

- a good point was recently raised: what exactly was charles in charge of?

- wouldn't it suck if you had the name of someone famous? particularly someone who is famous for something terrible? for example, the name scott is very common. so is the last name peterson. i just conducted a search on whitepages.com and got 6 scott peterson's in georgia alone.

- what happened to the 2 cheeseburger super value meal at mcdonalds??

- US Cellular Field doesn't quite have the same ring as Comiskey Park. i hate corporate america.
 

- magic johnson. while i understand that HIV/AIDs is a very tragic and horrible disease, i think the public outcry for magic in particular was unnecessarily inflated and dramatized. sure, it horrible that any person acquires any sort of dangerous disease.. but he contracted it through extramarital affairs. i'm sorry but i can't help but not feel terribly bad for someone who abused his status and lifestyle and cheated on his wife. not to mention the fact that he's a spokesperson for AIDs now, yet he's one of the few who can afford the drugs that will allow him to live for more than 10 years.

- no wonder why jesus walked on water, he didn't want to sit in atlanta traffic.

- ever notice that there are always a few athletes substantially slower than the rest of the field in the olympic finals, and they look like they're so slow, though in fact they are still one of the fastest in the world?

- charlotte's web. i'm confused how the baby spiders come into the story. i mean, do you remember anything about a daddy spider winning the heart and affections of mama charlotte? charlotte's a whore.

- women's poker. recently i saw an advertisement for a women's poker tournament. i don't understand why there's a separation. i mean, the playing field is even, it's not like it's a soccer game. that's like having a women's nascar or women's billards.

- RIP, the phrase "dream team".
 

- why is it socially acceptable for guys to adjust "themselves" in broad daylight and on national television? at any given moment, whether it's shaq or any baseball player on the planet, they can have a great play but you're all distracted when they're groping themselves on first base. sure, an itch needs to be scratched, but seriously, it's all about discretion here, boys. when's the last time you saw a girl scratch her boob because her bra itched? let's just pretend for like one moment that we aren't all cavemen here.

- why do people not have accents when they sing?

- jessica simpson = sports genius? she picked ga tech to go to the finals, in addition to picking smarty jones for the derby, way before the bandwagon. and her husband is supposedly this major sports nut, meanwhile she picks up two grand at the derby. i'm sorry, but am i missing something?

- why do people leave the dealership license plates and all that crap on their cars? for example you have a lexus and you have "hennessey lexus" written all on the back of your car and on a dinky plastic license plate holder. tacky.

- i'm surprised that more people don't get hurt at baseball games. sharply hit foul balls are hard to catch, let alone if you're not paying attention (it'd be my luck that i'd be flagging down the beer man or something and get decked by a foul ball..)

- i really hate it when bands get famous by doing cover songs. example: limp bizcuit, the ataris. there should be a rule of minimum number of [hit] albums produced before doing a cover.

- how is it that guys are typically so homophobic, yet they ALL pat each other on the ass in sports?

- banning people from baseball/ hall of fame. i feel like this type of ban completely defeats the purpose of the scum keeping their legacies, and makes them more famous than they would've been in the HoF. pete rose gets a book deal and all kinds of publicity and is constantly discussed. i can't name one guy pre-1950 who's in the hall of fame, but i do know who shoeless joe jackson is.

- "climate controlled self storage." if you're paying to have your junk air conditioned, you might need to rethink a yard sale.

- what exactly is a tapeworm, and how can i get one?
 

- i've always wondered why there's a setting on the toaster to completely char your toast.

- have you ever been out in public and see, for example, a really really fat person wearing something horribly exposing that they really needn't be wearing? i'm convinced that there's a shortage of full length mirrors in the united states.

- i'm sick of the conservative outlash towards the Fahrenheit 9/11 film. while it is labeled a documentary, everything is going to have a bias, so get over it and stop trying to cover up for some serious mishandlings during the whole bush administration.

- did you know that dr. atkins, at the time of his death, was medically considered to be obese?

- Statistics show that if you wear white, you'll up your odds spilling. And when I say statistics, I mean that this happens to me a lot. And I have a good feeling it would happen to you, too.

- ralph nader. give it up, dude.

- some random guy that we met in georgetown at a bar started bitching about the large number of tourists in DC, (you know, the nation's capital) acting like he was all badass and owned the town. the guy had been living in DC for TWO, count them, TWO weeks. needless to say, i called him on that and put that punk in his place. it's called respect, fool. don't be knocking DC when you still don't know where the red line goes.

- why do people slow down when they see a cop has a car pulled over? that's the best chance to speed, since he's already occupied with the other car..

- smirnoff triple black. while they are not a half bad drink, in now way are they considered to be tough or badass. if it's not a beer or in a shot glass, it's still a chick drink.
 

- i don't really understand seatbelt laws. in georgia this summer, they're promoting "100 days of safety" where they encourage you to use your safety belt. but if people really have a problem buckling up, shouldn't that be their own problem? it's not like their not using their seat belt would have an adverse effect on anyone but themselves. now i can't imagine being so dumb and not using one, shouldn't that be left up to the individual?

- huge pet peeve: the dad vail regatta is NOT nationals. you are NOT a national champion if you win this, unless you think the "national championship" excludes the ivy's and all other halfway decent competition in the nation. nobody good rows at vails. show up to IRA's and check yourself.

- j. lo married again. you would think she would learn her lesson and just get engaged until she moves onto the next guy, instead of contributing to the 50%+ divorce rate. i'll give it til the end of the year.

- why do guys, whenever around something phallic shaped, feel the need to put it on their crotch and do whatever? are you making up for a certain shortcoming? it's really gross, and it really really bothers me. if you're that obsessed with yourself, don't do it around me.
 

- i really hate that domino's philly cheesesteak pizza commercial. "guys love philly cheesesteaks, guys love philly cheesesteak pizza." not to get into some kind of crazy chick/feminist argument, but i DARE you to find a guy who likes cheesesteaks more than me.

- energy bars. i've never understood why coxswains eat them.

- why are guys so obsessed with the olsen twins turning 18? like they'd give it up to you.
 

- who was the marketing genius who coined "pepsi: it's the cola"?? i mean, you're getting paid the big bucks to think up that?!?

- betting shirts/crew stuff. i really hate it when the smallest people make a stink about getting the small sizes. CLEARLY, you're gonna get the smallest size. no need to get your panties in a bunch about it. the whining makes me want to stick you with the XL. now you'll know how every single villanova rower felt.
and as unfortunate as it is if you wanted a smaller size, you should always default the smallest person with the smallest shirt. i don't get why people get all stressed out about it. if you spend half the energy you spend bickering about some bullshit and put that into your rowing, you might be halfway decent.

- since when did ll cool j sell out and start doing soda commercials?

- How many women's college basketball players have their own bobblehead dolls (now selling on eBay for $100+)? How many have 11-year-old boys proposing marriage? And you thought Connecticut residents were nutso about Diana Taurasi. (Well, they are.) Whalen's following is beyond even the ardor of Husky fans. Don't be surprised if the Minnesota Lynx trade their seventh draft pick along with the Mall of America to draft her.

- question: if dimples are genetic, how come my parents don't have them? scandal? freak? anyone??

- what is it about championships that make people want to start fires and flip cars?

- alana beard: should've gone to uconn, huh?

- i think it's very important to sleep in a well made bed.

- can you people please stop talking about how the cubs are gonna win this year? you're jinxing an already cursed team. they're gonna win, but we don't need to make our predictions in march.

- i've always been curious about the term "we're pregnant" or "they're pregnant," implying that the guy has something to do with it. (as opposed to "she's pregnant.") i'm sorry, but just because one of your soldiers got loose and 9 months later - baddabing, a baby, taking credit for something that revolves around massive mood swings, no control over random bodily functions and trying to squeeze watermelon out a space the size of a grape does not constitute taking credit for "being pregnant."

- why is clemson's varsity women's program so secretive about their boathouse? they only open the bay door for boats to get in and out, and immediately close right after. i think i'm the only non-clemson person to step foot in there, right before the garage door almost landed on my head.. but worth it. ha.

- have you noticed that you can't find bubble gum anywhere nowadays? seriously, go look.

- the superbowl is neither super nor a bowl. discuss.
 

- barry bonds. clearly on the juice. clearly. i didn't really like him to begin with, but even so, take a look at him when he was playing on the pirates and tell me how he's not on loads of performance enhancing drugs? the guy was known more for his stolen bases than anything else, let alone home runs.

- a massage? a last supper? a security entourage? an execution? only cubs fans would go to such lengths.

- CNN.com - recently laid off ohio worker wins $89 million lottery.
        forwarded the article to my dad
        his reply: "is this your plan?"
        my response: "hasn't this always been the plan?"

- "have you ever used steroids?" has quickly become the sports reporters' version of "when did you stop beating your wife?"

- william hung got a record deal. you might laugh at his "she bangs" rendition, but trust me, he's laughing even harder all the way to the bank.

- essay question: have you seen any of the movies nominated for Best Short Live Action Film, and if so, how?

- to quote a smart man (good ole al einstein)
        "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."

- if money is the root of all evil, why do churches beg for it?
 

- dude, what ever happened to ricky martin?

- since when did carbs become the wicked witch of the west? and WHY is everyone obsessed with the atkin's diet? do people not realize that if you ever were to go back to a normal diet, one that involves those delectable carbohydrate goodness, that you will just INFLATE? as in FATCITY.
    i understand the theory of the diet. but you screw up your entire body when you get rid of carbs, because you can't ever eat them again. kinda like losing your metabolism. same way. don't cut the carbs, you can't ever go back.
    the only reason why this and south beach is so damn popular is because these people who want to lose weight are the exact same lazy ones that don't want to get out of their recliners in the first place, so this "quick and easy" fix seems to work. it doesn't. don't be fooled. staple your stomach, or better yet, staple your mouth shut so i don't have to listen to you talk about low carb beer, which is only low carb because it's all water. morons.

-the yankees retired No. 3 for babe ruth. What will cap'n A-rod wear on his back?
            A. 13
            B. 23
            C. 33
            D. $

- maurice clarett. he has got to be the dumbest human being who walks the earth. and i don't mean whether he decides to go pro or not. i watched the press conference for after the NFL ruling him eligible for the draft, and he took some question.. it was PAINFUL to watch. like i was embarrassed that he's a human. the guy probably couldn't have answered a question as to what color his shirt was before looking sheepish and turning to his lawyer because he didn't know the answer. obviously there were questions that he couldn't respond to pertaining the draft, but he couldn't even figure out what the answer was to "how are you?"
    also not to forget that incident last year where he lied on a police report saying that his car got broken into and all kinds of stuff was stolen, when it was really just a dirty sock and a twinkee, not thousands of dollars worth of stereo equipment and the like. people like that just have no place in the spotlight, or life in general for that matter. and the fact that he can go off to the NFL and completely bomb but still be a millionaire? he gets rewarded for being a bastard, how is that possibly fair? life's not fair. and he gives collegiate athletes a bad name. idiot.

- hey, whatever happened to the bermuda triangle? is it full? did it retire? did it swallow itself?

- multi vitamins. anyone who knows me knows that i swear by them.
    case #1 - i started taking them 2 years ago. up until then i usually get really really sick at least once prob twice a year. since taking MV's? once, and that was when i forgot to bring them home with me over x-mas and didn't take any for two weeks. it might sounds like a coincidence, but i honestly believe the vitamin's had something to do with it.
    case #2 - the flu this year. widespread panic. death. what have you. georgia was one of the most severely affected states in the nation. the last flu shot i had was when the villanova athletic dept strapped me down and stuck me. seeing i'm no longer their liability, i didn't get one. i didn't get sick either. go vitamins.
    conclusion: while this could all be one freak coincidence, i still think vitamins are the way to go. you feel better overall, and i think they help prevent sickness. and what i've experienced so far has worked, even if it's entirely a mental thing.

- you know why i love the south? because it's not the north. and people have manners here.

- tell me why i didn't go into graphic design or MIS?

- lists!

- we have 280 million people in this country... you're telling me that 32 of them couldn't be decent punters? thirty-two out of 280 million? it's that difficult?

- the janet jackson fiasco. obviously it was planned. i think that's been determined officially by now, but how could it not be anyway? however, i thought it was tacky and offensive considering the audience. there's no need for kids under 18 to see that on a superbowl halftime. and i'm not being a crotchety old lady. it was just tasteless, and i don't think either of them should be allowed to perform at the grammy's.

- speaking of grammy's, i always think that these awards have a more difficult selection process. as opposed to teeny-bop awards shows where the backstreet boys and blink 182 win awards. i just think of a grammy as prestegious. tell me how they have justin up for five? his lyrics include "you're out of this world but you're not green." not to mention the fact that he enlisted every single successful hip hop producer to lay down catchy tracks and also took rejected michael jackson songs and "fixed" them a little so that he "wrote" them, to some effect. i really don't like it when people don't write their own stuff and try to act like they made it all their own, from the music to lyrics to album, which is entirely the case here. blue eyed soul? try studio magic, record label assistance and 13 year olds who don't know any better.
 

- how the hell do those personal injury lawyers make such a killing? i mean if i slip on a tomato while waitressing, how is the restaurant accountable for my clumsiness??

- certain young college aged republicans. not to say i'm a bleeding liberal, but don't you just want to smack them sometimes? like their life is so difficult driving imported cars that their daddy paid for.

- atlanta's fear of winter weather. we just had two days of school cancellations and it didn't even get below freezing, let alone get any snow. gasp!

- michael jackson. everyone knows he's a pathological liar (he claims only 2 plastic surgeries) and a bit of a freak, but seriously what kind of parents would let their kid stay OVERNITE with jacko after the first round of molestation charges (a la 10 years ago).

- speaking of jackson, i was talking to my dad one day and how i should just make a quick buck and accuse MJ of molesting me too. my dad's response? [in all seriousness] "you're not his type." thanks, daddy-o.

- my new cell phone number (as of november) previously belonged to a guy named mike. why do i know this? because half the calls i receive are his buddies or people looking to get him to pay his bills. bastard.

- the H2. if you have one, i hate you. maybe you should make up for your lack of size some other way. enough said.